A letter from a hopeless mother to the most wonderful child:

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Dearest Son,

When I saw your shiny little heart beating at 181 beats per minute, the sound of which resembled those of galloping horses, your little brain bent downwards, and the tiny fingers waiting to stretch out, I knew I would never be able to witness something so beautiful and pure ever again in my life. The thought that I was actually nurturing a life inside me, a life which is dearer to me than my own, a life which I am the source of , and the saying that "motherhood is the feeling of being complete" never made more sense. My heart was filled with varied overpowering emotions - a very different kind of love which can only be felt, and not explained, boundless protection,  and insurmountable care for someone who was yet to see the joys of this world. But you my little one, you didn't know that the mother you were safely growing inside of, the mother you were sure of to protect you against all the adversities, the same mother tore your trust in  her into pieces. You didn't know your supposed protector would turn out to be your destroyer. Your mom misses you every waking second of her life, since the fateful afternoon you left, or rather, I forced you to leave and pushed you away, mercilessly and selfishly, the two adjectives that should never be associated with a mother. I curse myself every time I think of you, for not taking a stand for you, for being a spineless mother, for not facing the reality and for choosing the easier option, and trust me, I think of you all day and night. Maybe we could have built a different and a beautiful little world of our own, maybe together we could have found our silver lining, maybe we could have had it all - but your cowardly mother did something which assured her of not having to hide her face from the circle of people she's surrounded with , and that was letting you go. You are my favorite memory , one I would now live with till I encounter death, and one which would push me towards it , each day, bit by bit. I let everyone take you away from me, without uttering anything, but nobody would ever be able to take away your memory. I repent all the undeserving painful ordeal and torment I made you go through , and I have just one thing to say....



Tell me, is it too late to say sorry?





Your remorseful mother~

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